This is a comedic blog all Africans can reminisce and relate to.
ilookgoodinthatspacesuit says, “I wrote this essay for my English Class (98% :D )
How to Spot a Nigerian
Nigerians are from the country Nigeria which is found in West Africa. They are well known for their people, culture and tremendous contribution to the oil industry. However, it sometimes can be hard to identify a person of Nigerian decent or upbringing. Wale, Tyler the Creator, Taio Cruz and Tinie Tempah are examples of such. Below are facts to determine whether a person is of Nigerian decent.
1.) Lifestyle and upbringing. Nigerians are known for being warm and welcoming. They treat a stranger as if they were a part of their family. If a person was to enter the home of a Nigerian they would be asked, “My friend, what would you like to eat/drink?” as soon as they sat down. Also, Nigerians have a great value of respect for elders. For example, if one were to pass their elder in the morning without greeting them with a, “good morning” then they would be deemed as disrespectful and unmannerly. Sunday is the most important day of the week for a typical Nigerian because of their Christian faith. In fact, if there is anything that takes place on a Sunday in the schedule of a Nigerian then the events would take place after church service.
2.) The Children. Nigerians take pride in their children. This is shown by what they name them at birth. Princess or Queen for example, is commonly used name for girls of Nigerian decent. Names such as Olutoyin, Abisola, Tochi, and Olubawale represent the parents’ appreciative attitude toward God for blessing them with a child. Children of Nigerian decent living in a Western society often have a difficult time with their peers and educators pronouncing and remembering their name. In addition, the majority of Nigerian children are known for being talented runners or having other athletic abilities. Nigerian children are also mindful of what they say when they talk to their parents. Any small remark such as, “What?” can result in receiving an extreme punishment.
3.) Cuisine and Parties In every Nigerian household there is at least one bag of rice and containers of pepper. Rice and pepper is commonly used for the making of a satisfying meal. Nigerians have a passed down method of eating rice and stew. If there is chicken or beef in the stew then they will save the meat so they can eat it last.
Every Nigerian party has its own starting and ending time. For example, if a party was planned to start at six in the evening, it would not start until seven thirty. The party would then end late as a result of it starting late. The festivities that go on during a Nigerian are that of none other. During a Nigerian birthday party the celebrant has an entrance dance. Money is waved and thrown at the celebrant while they are entering the hall and dancing on the dance floor by family and friends. The money is a sign of good-fortune and the love and appreciation a friend or family member has for the celebrant. There is always an overabundance of food and libations at parties as well. 4.) Parents Nigerian parents are very strict and expect the best from their children. They never allow their child to miss school and expect them to be at the top of their class. In an effort to motivate their children, parents often remind them of what it was like for them growing up in Nigeria. They begin their statements with “When I was your age…” or “Back home…”
Asked by Anonymous Anonymous
Submitted by: anitalivesherlife
Bitch, please. For a person with a gray face, you’re pretty damn ugly.
Anon, Africans aren’t beautiful? Excuse me?! I don’t know about you guys but I’m quite personally offended. I dare you to come off anon.
What in their right mind makes them believe saying such a thing is perfectly okay? A blatant insult!
I think we all should take turns giving this anon the dirtiest slap possible.
I was fundraising for a club I’m in by bagging at a local grocery store, and then this African family who was staring at me from a distance walk up to me. I smile and wave and then the dad starts talking to me in another language. All I heard was something similar to “Ghanian” so I was like no… and he was like, “Eh?! You’re not Ghanian?!” and I’m like “Um, no. I’m Nigerian.” He was like “oh…alright then” and left.
Sorry to dissapoint. Apperently you failed at your duties of instantly knowing what country a fellow African is from. Lmao Awkwardd~~
Mom: I have pinatas!
Me: You have a pinata?!
Me: No you don’t…
*Mom goes to freezer and pulls out a box*
Me: OH EMPANADAS!!!
Mom: That’s what I said!
Smh thick African accents lmfaoo
Ok so Mum’s having an important diplomatic meeting at home, I want to go out using her car and the allowance she was going to give me that day (Mandela would have been proud of my campaign for such luxuries). Anyway to sweeten the deal I clean up her study-library-office and wait for the woman to arrive. She gets there with the big guest and attempts to dazzle him with her brand new iMac… which refuses to start (Crap). She calls me into the office all heated and Blazes me with every form of (African) parentally cusswords and names. All through this I wait patiently and looking very contrite. When she finally yells at me to leave her sight, I quietly stoop low and connect the power plug to the wall socket, leave quietly and DIE laughing at the far side of the house! [I never got my allowance that month though :( ]
Submitted by: rontony
The usual greeting.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooh fine girl.
chaiiiiii you will marry my son ooooh, it is a must!
he is a very handsome young man.
My mum: the bride price is high ohhhhh can you manage?
Random auntie/uncle: ah ah! heyyy! see me oooh, of course now- no long ting!
Submitted by: thecocoberryworld
i’m Cameroonian and we have yearly conventions to celebrate our culture. every year the youths come together to do something that shows we still remember our roots so we did a fashion show in african wear and then after words we had to introduce ourselves in the dialet we had to say our names who’s children we were and what village we are from i did great but my causin who has been here since she was three got stock on what village she was from it was all on video and distributed to the whole communitty so everytime someone’s sees her and remembers they ask her where she is from and continue to talk about her like she isnt there…they laugh and talk about it endlessly
Submitted by: beautyssimplestform
I did! (an aftershock atleast) Never experienced one in my life. I was peacefully queuing posts when my chair started shaking.. I was sliding across the room.. I thought it was my muscles flipping out or something… I continued to post when I felt ANOTHER shake! I ran thinking my house was collapsing to find everyone in my house was just as clueless. My mom was taking a nap, woke up and thought she was hallucinating, (LOL) my brother was taking a nap too and hopped out of his room… Oh man.. My other sisters are at random places in the city and felt it.. Some guy was mowing his lawn. I couldn’t stop laughing. I go on facebook on my phone and my entire newsfeed is filled. Just about everyone felt it! People who are on vacation and didn’t feel it (cause there’s never earthquakes on this side of the states) are all pissed. But my friend who lives rather close didn’t feel anything. I don’t know how.. But it was definitely a really cool feeling when I realized the house actually wasn’t going to cave in on me..